Does that bear any resemblance to any show you can think of on MTV right now? Perhaps one that’s spawned pop “legends,” who do such noble things as get dropped in new year’s eve balls, design lingerie swimsuits called trashy couture, and spin at Vegas clubs?

Austinites, bring Real World back with what’s being billed as “the new Jersey Shore,” a reality TV show casting and set in Austin called Lost in Austin.

“Do you rule the bar scene, rope in the hottest of the hot, drink anyone under the table? We want to hear from you!

Is everything really bigger in Texas? Prove it. Time to go big, because going home isn’t an option.

Let’s show the country how Texans do it. Are you ready to get Lost in Austin?”

Just fill out an easy online form that includes questions like, “BRAG?” and “How do you let loose?” and cross your fingers that the casting director contacts you. Not in Austin? No worries, you can submit a home video.

You could be the next pop legend, probably famous for bedazzling cowboy boots or rocking daisy dukes better than anyone we’ve seen. Just don’t start a fashion line called hillbilly couture, kay?

Click here to go to the Lost in Austin Casting form, and sign away your soul.

Basically, this chick is an all-star. Check out her spring fashion show April 23rd at 7pm at the Beauty Bar. Here’s the flyer:

January 19 at 6 pm at La Sombra on Burnet (4800 Burnet Road).

The event is FREE but asking for a donation at the door. Everything raised at the door goes to the Paul Kirby Emergency Assistance fund, which provides aid to Austin citizens living with HIV/AIDS.

For more, click to the facebook event page.

To check out B’s work, I’m partial to my own Kate Hudson makeover in her hands:

Kate Hudson Smokey Eyes Makeup Tutorial

Check out the calendar here.

General Admission $13

Hit up the box office of Aspen Show Tickets at Wheeler Opera House, 320 E Hyman Ave., from 11am to 7pm
Phone orders: 970.920.5770
Order online: aspenshowtix.com

I want to see Black Swan! But is it a good New Year’s Eve activity? Not sure. Thoughts?

As per this is life in austin usual, I’m certain you can find the regular schedule by picking up a freaking google. I’m here to present all the pre- and after-parties!

All these are within walking distance from the park, so you can literally party all day and night …

THURSDAY: FFF FREE KICK OFF PARTIES (NO COVER!)

OFFICIAL FFF KICK OFF @ Club de Ville: Helio Sequence, TBA (FREE show, brought to you by Toyota Matrix and Mike’s Hard Punch)

Mohawk: Austinist presents its annual “Local Music is Sexy” w/ Bill Baird, Weird Weeds, Watch out for Rockets, Markov, Botnay, Amasa Gana, Sleep Good, Mutual Benefit, Dana Falconberry, Rayon Beach, Sally Crewe  (FREE)

Red 7: Inquisition and more (FREE).

FRIDAY: FFF OFFICIAL AFTERPARTIES (ALL are $5 w/ fest wristband, $10 w/out)

Club de Ville: 16 Deluxe, Smoke and Feathers, Royal Butchers (out)// The Moaners, David Dondero (inside)

Mohawk: Gorilla vs Bear Presents: Special Guest, Memory Tapes, Sleep Over (out)//Fol Chen, Soft Healer, TBA

Red 7: Dead to Me, Cobra Skulls, Toys That Kill, The Arrivals, Shanghai River, The Stampede

ND: Peligrosa Dance Party

Parish: Big Sam’s Funky Nation (New Orleans Funk), w/ DJ Mahealani  (FUNk FUNk FUNk pt 1)

Beerland: Faun Fables, Death is Not a Joyride, Little Teeth

Beauty Bar: Dam-funk DJ set, Bon Jay, Richard Henry.

SATURDAY: FFF OFFICIAL AFTERPARTIES (ALL are $5 w/ fest wristband, $10 w/out)

Red 7: Scream (DC hc legends), TBA, TBA, the Impalers

Mohawk: Special Guest, Joan of Arc, tba w/ Dum Dum Girls DJ set (out) Kuroma (members of MGMT and Whigs), Intelligence,

Beerland: the Flatliners, Off with Their Heads, Snips

Broken Neck: Outbreak, Hour of the Wolf, Red City Radio, Cruel Hand, Backtrack, Aficianado

ND: Austin Surreal/Proper Ent presents:  Live MCs: Perseph One, Kydd, The Nice Guys. DJ sets by: Rapid Rick, Waajeed, DJ Mel, DJ Dus and special DJ sets by Jean Grae and Devin the Dude (sponsored by Smoke ATX)

Parish: Foot Patrol w/ DJ I Wanna Be Her (FUNk FUNk FUNk pt 2)

Beauty Bar: Delorean DJ set, Jacques Renault DJ, Learning secrets DJs, Lemonade, Cowabunga Babes, Burger City DJ (Presented by Learning Secrets)

Scoot inn: Knuckle Rumbler’s “Bizzoounce” w/ Katey Red, B.E.B., The Glitoris (dj set), DJ Rusty Lazer

Headhunters: Mobile Death Camp, Infernaeon, Demontuary, Indisgust, Misery

SUNDAY: FFF OFFICIAL FREE AFTERPARTIES (FREE w/ fest wristband, $5 w/out)

Red 7: Special Guest, Mammoth Grinder, Ratking

Mohawk: Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s, Sonny and the Sunsets, Golden Triangle, Jookabox, (+ Karaoke Underground)

Beauty Bar: Yelle DJ set

Beerland: The Applicators, The Motards

Alright kids, that’s some serious music. I may not be that cool, but I’ve at least heard of most of the bands. So get out there this weekend and have some fun fun fun!

Four Seasons Austin ACL Pre-Show

Looking across the river towards the Back Lawn, where you will enjoy fabulous music and delicious tacos…

KUT 90.5 and Four Seasons Hotel Austin invite locals and festival visitors to experience a more intimate side of Austin City Limits with a pre-show broadcast from the hotel’s gorgeous Back Lawn. Check out 30 to 40-minute sets by awesome ACL fest artists:

9am: Sahara Smith
10am: Blind Pilot (coincidentally played Aspen’s Belly Up this past Sunday night)
11am: Spoon
Noon: Robert Randolph and the Family Band

The event is open to the public on a first-come, first served basis. Admission is JUST $5, which includes a breakfast taco! All proceeds benefit the Shivers Cancer Center at Seton Hospital. Attendees are encouraged to bring their favorite chair or blanket to relax … Friday, October 8 from 9am-1pm on the Back Lawn of Four Seasons Hotel Austin (98 San Jacinto Blvd.)

RUMOR: Saturday, Oct. 9 – ACL afterparty with The xx @ Malverde (400 W. 2nd St. Austin, TX) – RSVP info TBA.

My ACL survival guide (updated from ’08):

- What to wear to ACL? Light-colored clothing, with a swimsuit. Girls, you’re inevitably taking your shirt off to hide the sweat running down it, guys, you’re inevitably taking your shirt off because it’s hot as hell. Yes, I hear we will have 80-degree temps. Doesn’t matter, the sun will still be blazing and you will still be hot. It’s Texas. Or it might rain (see woodstock ’09 aka last year). You’ll still be glad you’re wearing a swimsuit.

- Drink lots of water. Yeah, the portapotties suck. But being dehydrated sucks more. Drinking booze is tempting, and sneaking it in is easy, but hydrate first. Drink later in the afternoon, you’ll thank yourself for it later. And you’ll remember at least half the bands you saw.

- Sunscreen. Don’t get cancer, and don’t be miserable for the following two days. Don’t get sunburned, it will make you a thousand times hotter, which is not a place you want to be. Wear some freakin’ sunscreen. Even if it’s cold. SPF 30 please.

- Big, floppy hats / umbrellas / sunglasses / chairs with built in umbrellas / your program / whatever, use it to cool it down.

- Take breaks/naps. Barton Springs, restaurants with a/c, under trees, or under someone else’s chair, as long as you take a respite, it doesn’t matter where.

- Don’t try to drive and park. It never works. A bajillion and a half cabbies and pedicabs are circulating, buses and shuttles are all over the place (free from Republic Square!), or have friends/parents/bums drop you off. The other side (west) of the Mopac bridge is a great place to be dropped off and avoid the crazy Barton Springs Road traffic.

From my commentors:

Sarah: Check out the autograph schedule to get up close and personal with your fav artists: http://www.aclfestival.com/experience/activities/autograph-schedule/

Andrew: Make sure to check out the black keys on Friday 4-5, got to see them in 2008 and it was an unbelievable set.

Edward A. Cross III: Ride a bike to avoid horrible traffic for cars and buses!

Amy: Run across the street to Barton Springs Pool in between your favorite acts for a chance to cool off!

Mitch: Be sure to factor in rest time! After 3-4 hours of seeing shows, you’ll need a couple minutes off your feet to catch your breath.

Have fun, see Phish!

So it’s late notice, but WOLFMOTHER is playing at Belly Up tonight. Doors at 9p, show at 10. Tix are $50. Word on the street is that Wolfmother puts on one of the best live shows around, so the expense is probably worth it. Belly Up is a crazy-intimate venue, so seeing a show that’s notoriously good live so close is gonna be pretty freakin’ sweet.

I can’t stop saying WOLFMOTHER like they did on 101x awhile ago when Wolfmother came to Austin … it was like a deep baritone, overly dramatic WOLF…MOTHER. Hahaha.

They say that even if you’re not athletic and just want to transform your body and lifestyle by working out like the pros, you could be chosen for the show. Everyone has a shot!

The casting directors are looking for hungry, hardworking athletes ages 12 and older (competing in three categories — youth, high school, adult), who want to take their training to the next level in front of a national cable television audience, in hopes of landing their share of $1,000,000 in cash, prizes, and athletic scholarships and a chance to compete to win $1,000,000 on each of 10 episodes.

Thirty (30) real-world athletes and wanna be athletes  will be worked by a professional training staff on tough-to-complete training programs involving cardiovascular fitness, strength training, plyometric training, sport-specific skills, sport psychology, and proper nutrition. The show features athletes benefiting from using cutting edge technology, “high tech” training equipment, and special effects illustrating their performances.

And OH YEAH, the show’s producers are also seeking a female host with a background in health, fitness, and sports performance training.

Casting Calls (they must know how awesome we are down south with TWO calls in Texas!)

Billings, Montana — August 2-4, 2010
Minneapolis, Minnesota — August 6-8, 2010
Long Island, NY — August 12-15, 2010
Tampa, Florida — August 20-22, 2010
Dallas, Texas — August 27-29, 2010
Houston, Texas — September 3-5, 2010
Scottsdale, Arizona — September 11-12, 2010
Los Angeles, California — September 24-26, 2010 (metro area)
Las Vegas, Nevada — October 1-3, 2010

I don’t know which of those locations is closest to Aspen? Erm …

To view the entire audition process and to register, hit up the audition website: www.aworldclassathlete.com.

We’re aiming for “Couture Consignment” and attempting to take the “thrifty mothball wading through racks of crap in search of the one treasure then needing to take a bath in Purell” feeling out of resale.

We also carry furniture, home décor-y types of coolness and pieces from local designers – both clothing and jewelry.  Oh…and my favorite: estate jewelry!

Come check out the mothball-free clothing with a fab fashion show and experience the warm ambiance of Blu Saturday night from 7-9pm*. Enjoy drink specials and the hip sounds of DJ 27.

January 23rd from 7-9pm / Blu Cafe Bar & Lounge, 360 Nueces St

Styling provided by J. Buccio Salon and MYKA Cosmetics.

*Even if you don’t go to the fashion show, be sure to stop by the Lovely Austin Boutique to scope out all their sweet finds!

Saturday: Runway to Heaven fashion show

I’ll be live-blogging/tweeting my reactions to the show up onto the wall behind the models as they walk down the runway, so this is going to be super cool. But what will I wear?!

Friday: 2^ND Street District Holiday Give & Get Kick-off

Every Friday afternoon in November, 2^ND Street District businesses are rolling out the holiday cheer with a Holiday Give & Get.

For $25, you get special VIP savings, free gifts, a chance to win holiday spending money and the opportunity to support one of four much-loved Austin non-profits: Art Alliance Austin, Austin Dog Rescue, Bikes for Kids or Capital Area Food Bank. $20 goes directly to the charity of your choice and $5 will go toward a raffle including holiday spending money and hundreds of dollars in gift certificates to 2^ND Street District businesses. The drawing will take place on December 3 at the 2^ND Street District holiday parties.

Today’s featured non-profit is Art Alliance Austin. They’ll be at 2^nd Street’s gallery d selling tickets to Art Night Austin: E.A.S.T. (the official preview party of the East Austin Studio Tour, taking place Nov. 12) and personalizing holiday greeting cards by E.A.S.T. featured artist GladeMade. We’ll also have an Annie Ray photo booth on site, so bring your kids or pets and snap some holiday photos to share with friends and family.

Sunday: Shop 787 event

Yeah, I’ve been hyping it all week, but it’s here!

All Weekend: Settlement Home Garage Sale