Now, a Diatribe on White Pants*

*And other fashiony things I need to get off my chest

It’s really hot in Austin, I know. A “cold front” came through tonight and we all got excited because it dropped to 80, but by the time I’m walking around downtown at noon tomorrow, it’ll be 1,956 degrees again and I’ll be sweating through my nice clothes. I understand.

But it is still October. Yes, ladies and gentleman, October. This means white pants are over. You weren’t supposed to wear white pants after Labor Day (ahem, SEPTEMBER 1), but maybe you could get away with it for another week or two because it’s so damn hot, and white is just that much cooler. Maybe they’re white linen. Maybe they’re white cotton pants. Whatever they are, however much they feel like a/c on your legs, it is now October and you simply cannot wear them anymore.

Wear a brown pant. Bust out the plaids you’ve been saving. Bring on the tweed, the wool gabardine, the plain wool. Switch into some winter-y fabrics … if you wear it, the cool will come. Or either you’ll sweat your face off, but you were doing that anyway and at least now you’re in the right season!

Suggested pairings:

Ladies:

+ keep rocking your darker-colored sleeveless tops with your winter pants. It’s called compromise.

+ Bring out the sweater dresses! Bare legs are a go at this point.

+ SUMMER (FALL) SCARF. If you don’t know already, I LOVE the summer scarf. Lightweight. Super-cute. Trendy. Rock it now and you’ll look more Fall, but have the same breeziness of summer.

+ some summer dresses (the darker knits, the shifts) can be made fall fab with long sweater jackets or sweater vests. love layers for transition times like this!

+ Shorts are over. MAYBE to a UT football game. MAYBE on a weekend afternoon. Otherwise, pack ‘em up ’til next spring. I’ll let you know when you can bring them out again.

Gentlemen:

+ Don’t you just wear suits anyway?

+ Shorts are an almost-year-round-staple, and I get that. So if you’re still in shorts mode, fine, just don’t wear the plaid patchwork, pastels, neons, and whale-printed ones, please.

+ I don’t know what else to tell you. You really shouldn’t be wearing white linen pants in the first place, and if you are, probably won’t listen to my style cues anyway.

+ Try the man-scarf. I’m telling you all, scarves are it this season. Be bold. Wear a marf. Or just a scarf


(… I’m trying to increase my fashion coverage. Let me know what you think–love it or leave it?)

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5 Comments to “Now, a Diatribe on White Pants*”

  1. It’s official. You’re on crack.

  2. And your point is?

  3. Love it! People NEED fashion advice. Your straightforward approach is awesome and funny!

  4. I’m trying to find winter white pants at a price of around thirty dollars. Any suggestions?
    Thanks!

  5. Hey Jo Marie! The deal with winter white pants is that they’ve got to be a very heavy fabric–most likely wool, corduroy, or velvet–to look wintry, and those don’t come cheap. I’d suggest discount/outlet retailers hawking last year’s winter white pants for a good pair for less. You should be able to find relatively cheap cords, but they’re far less dressy than wool.

    The issue at hand is quality, because the last place you want to go cheap is with white–they won’t be flattering if they aren’t cut well, and they won’t be wintry if they aren’t made well.

    Target is selling a pair for $14.99 in velvet, which is clearly a winter fabric. The problem with velvet is that cheap velvet isn’t soft, and is often thin-waled, which makes it look, well, cheap. Worth trying on though if you’re in a Target already: http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/178-4868242-4504705?asin=B000A82F8M&afid=yahoossplp&lnm=B000A82F8M|Isaac_Mizrahi_Velvet_Pants_Winter_White&ref=tgt_adv_XSMG1060

    Good luck!

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